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Hi All,

So I've been dating this nice lady for a while (5 years) and we've been living together for 3 years. We want to get married, so I'm in the process of looking for a ring.

I know the cliche "3 months salary." I understand that, but my big question is what's considered "big?" or "small" pertaining to the rock? I know it may be relative but I'm trying to find a baseline. Is 1 Carat diamond a big rock?

I had a great resource here locally, a nice local diamond store, but they shut down because retail sucks right now. I trusted them as I knew they were not trying to push anything on me just educating me.

I heard BlueNile.com is a good place to get a ring from, anyone have any experience with them?

Thanks in advance.

Screw the cliches and internet stores.

It's not like you're "surprising" her, right? Go together. Pick something you both like. May take a while, but it'll be better than getting something she doesn't particularly care for.

It's not about size or $$$ or anything cliche. . . . it's about something you both pick out . . .

Congrats by the by.

Personally, (im a guy so wtf do I know about this stuff) but my ex who I did buy a ring for (thank you Zales for taking it back!) was simple, by that I mean she didn't want huge, flashy or $$$, a plus for me and my wallet too. But what Im getting at is think of your lady and what she likes jewelry wise, if she is a simple or basic kind of girl, dont go drop 3k on a huge rock, when a nice, simple one will do. Remember, its her who'll be wearing it. Good luck man!

4 Cs of diamond grading


Best tip is find someone who knows something about diamonds and go to a pawn shop. Diamonds are the most over priced thing there is and commercial jewelry stores will rip you off.

Ask her what she wants. There is a combination of features that you can get her.

I have a similar problem at the moment (the woman I´ve been with for the last 9 years and myself are thinking about getting married), but I realise that the cliche about the "three months salaries" was made up by the De Beers diamond mining and trading company of South Africa (which controls a cartel, which in turn controls something like 95% of the world diamond market). They were also the ones who introduced the idea that an engagement ring had to be a diamond ring and that it was really bad form to recycle diamonds from an old piece of jewelry to a new one.

For my Missus a formal engagement is very important, while for me, after two failed marriages, I seev things a bit less romantic.

Jan

Screw the three months thing.

Get her something now, and later upgrade it.

Forget the online places. Go to someone reputable. Look at the diamond for yourself.

This may sound simple, but does she have small hands? Something like a 1-carat may look ridiculously large on a tiny hand. When I got married (a lifetime ago...) my engagement ring was made from a diamond that my grandmother left me. It was a 0.55ct...perfect size for my hand, as they're quite small. (Round cut, D color, VVS1) It was set in a very simple 4-prong settting because I didn't want the patterned wedding band to detract from the stone.

That's something else to consider...do you have an heirloom diamond from a grandmother or great-grandmother that you could re-set?

Or...between the two of you, design your own...but for God's sake, buy the diamond from a reputable jewellery store...and make sure that the stone is GIA certified.

miamiair wrote:Forget the online places. Go to someone reputable. Look at the diamond for yourself.

Great advice. Find a reputable local jewellers - they're usually the one that's been in town for generations, despite not being the cheapest. Remember, you're likely to go back there for the wedding rings, so they will usually make a real effort to find you the right ring.

kmh1956 wrote:This may sound simple, but does she have small hands? Something like a 1-carat may look ridiculously large on a tiny hand.

That's exactly the problem I had finding an engagement ring - my wife's hands are tiny. I had a ring custom made and mounted with 4x .15 carat antique diamonds & it didn't cost any more than buying something similar off the shelf

JLAmber wrote:

miamiair wrote:Forget the online places. Go to someone reputable. Look at the diamond for yourself.

Great advice. Find a reputable local jewellers - they're usually the one that's been in town for generations, despite not being the cheapest. Remember, you're likely to go back there for the wedding rings, so they will usually make a real effort to find you the right ring.

kmh1956 wrote:This may sound simple, but does she have small hands? Something like a 1-carat may look ridiculously large on a tiny hand.

That's exactly the problem I had finding an engagement ring - my wife's hands are tiny. I had a ring custom made and mounted with 4x .15 carat antique diamonds & it didn't cost any more than buying something similar off the shelf

The nice thing about having a ring custom made, too, is that it's one-of-a-kind. It's so much more personal and meaningful.

miamiair wrote:Get her something now, and later upgrade it.

Forget the online places. Go to someone reputable. Look at the diamond for yourself.

He went to Jared's!

kmh1956 wrote:This may sound simple, but does she have small hands? Something like a 1-carat may look ridiculously large on a tiny hand.

kmh is right on the money! This is very important when considering stone size. Fortunately, Victor is well educated in the 4Cs and the 1+ carat ring he chose looks absolutely STUNNING on my hand; however...

2+ carats would look even LOVELIER!

mrsmiamiair wrote:

miamiair wrote:Get her something now, and later upgrade it.

Forget the online places. Go to someone reputable. Look at the diamond for yourself.

He went to Jared's!

kmh1956 wrote:This may sound simple, but does she have small hands? Something like a 1-carat may look ridiculously large on a tiny hand.

kmh is right on the money! This is very important when considering stone size. Fortunately, Victor is well educated in the 4Cs and the 1+ carat ring he chose looks absolutely STUNNING on my hand; however...

2+ carats would look even LOVELIER!

Have you considered the possibility of an eternity ring instead? You wear it on the other side of the engagement ring....usually a simple band with 4 or 5 diamond set in to it...

I'm in trouble now, right?

Wow thanks for all the information!

My lady does have small fingers- size 4, so yes a big rock will dwarf her hands. I've always had the mentality of spoiling her. I always have. This is not her, she comes from a very different background than me and she is quite the opposite of needy and demanding hence why I want to spoil her.

I also agree to go to a shop vs doing it online. I'll just use the online sites as a reference.

We did look online at some sample rings, I built her one and covered up the price and she said I did well and that "I'll be happy with anything."

I've bought her plenty of jewelry and she wears it all, quite often, so I know I have good taste. I think I should just go with my gut instinct.

My boss said she buys her rocks at a place in San Fran that she is going to give me info on. My boss has been up here for like 20 years so she probably has a good feel for everything. It's not a chain store I know that.

Now the next question is, where should I ask her? This will take alot of thought from me. We've done alot of traveling and moving since we've been together so there are places all over the world that I could take her to that would be amazing.

My thought would be find some crazy nice cliff that over looks the water out here near me and ask her then.
At a place like this:


My only other thought was to take her back to the place where we had our first anniversary dinner, Reunion Tower in Downtown Dallas (the ball on a stick building).

If you guys have any good suggestions throw them out, I'm all ears.

Thanks again everyone.

AA61hvy wrote:If you guys have any good suggestions throw them out, I'm all ears.
Thanks again everyone.

Please, for your own sake, DO NOT ask her to marry you in a Mexican restaurant! Comprende?

I worked at Pappasito's a couple of summers ago, and I had 2, yes 2, guys that proposed to their girlfriends within three months.
They got what they wanted, but the location was pathetic.

mrsmiamiair wrote:He went to Jared's!

Those freaking commercials......


Girl 1 - "He went to Jared's!"
Girl 2 - "He went to Jared's?"
Girl 3 - "He went to Jared's?!!?!"

Me - "If you all don't shut the hell up, I'll go Jack Torrance all over this place!"

AA61hvy wrote:
My thought would be find some crazy nice cliff that over looks the water out here near me and ask her then.
At a place like this:

She's either going to think you are proposing or pushing her off

CO777ER wrote:I worked at Pappasito's a couple of summers ago, and I had 2, yes 2, guys that proposed to their girlfriends within three months.
They got what they wanted, but the location was pathetic.

Geebus.. That isn't even a *good* Mexican place.. If there is such a thing

kmh1956 wrote:Have you considered the possibility of an eternity ring instead? You wear it on the other side of the engagement ring....usually a simple band with 4 or 5 diamond set in to it...

I'm in trouble now, right?

Nah... He gave me one for our 1st anniversary which compliments the solitare beautifully! Victor has excellent taste... after all, he chose me!

That looks like Big Sur...which is one of the most stunning places I have ever visited.

If so, certainly a good place...

...though...I would also try to find a place that offers you some privacy in case some 'needs' arise.

(As an aside, I could not quite find the romantic place to propose. I had the ring in my pocket at the office when my wife just happen to ask if I had bought it. As she turned around...she touched the box in my *cough* pants. I proposed in the back of my office)