English tax dollars hard at workMeet David Barber, the Queen's swan marker. If you're wondering, 'the Queen's what?', let the man himself explain.
"I'm responsible for Her Majesty's swans wherever she exercises her royal prerogative right," explains Mr Barber.
And Her Majesty exercises her royal prerogative over a lot of swans. In fact, she has the right to own any swan in the United Kingdom swimming in open waters, and swans that are unmarked.
But these days, what does that mean? Well, it doesn't mean so much as it did in the 12th century when all the swan upping first started.
And just what is swan upping? It's an 800-year-old tradition by which the swans on the River Thames, in the royal neighbourhood upstream of London, are counted and marked, in the old terminology.
Hence, the royal swan marker, who this year performed the annual ritual for the first time in the presence of the royal swan owner. It takes a week for the royal swan marker and the royal swan warden and all the royal swan uppers to count all the swans, many of which used to be destined for the royal banquet table.
But these days even queens don't eat swans. The titles haven't changed over the centuries, but the royal diet apparently has. With swan now off the menu, this is less about cooking then it is about counting.
It's a wildlife census, in old rowing skiffs and fancy clothes. Still, it does beg a final question: does the royal swan marker even know what swan tastes like?
"No, I've never eaten it," says Mr Barber. "And I wouldn't, not in my position."
Tough, stringy and a bit fishy, they say - luckily for the swans.
